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February 1, 2010
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Okay. So I dunno how many real Alice fans are out there so I might just be shouting at :iconholy-shpootnik:, but I am SO SICK of hearing about Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.

Don't get me wrong. I'm GOING to see it but I am neither "OMG SO FUCKING EXCITED" or "HOW DARE HE DO SUCH A THING! RAAAARRR", albeit the latter was closer to how I felt not too long ago.


I am to understand that it is NOT the retelling of Carroll's(or even Disney's) Alice in Wonderland, but ....essentially Return to Oz/Wonderland. That makes it an easy escape from the hardcore Alice fans, but also a total pussout. Pretty much its a chance to make a fanfic movie. Yet again, don't get me wrong. I love fanfic movies(Velvet Goldmine anyone? Anyone?) I think why I'm against the idea of his making a Tim Burton Alice is that...I think he would have made an excellent telling of the original. I know that he's well read enough, and a fan of classic fairytales to do the details that I LOVE. But...he's also so...fucking....Tim Burton about everything he does that there would definitely be parts that I hate that he did. I think he saw that coming and chose to use his own story for it.

So far, I can already tell that he's meshed the stories, which I'm used to but tired of. I swear, if that fucking Blue Caterpillar turns into a butterfly I'm walking out. That was NOT part of the original it was part of Disney's. And while I liked it in Disney's...seeing it in made for TVs and everything else....I'm tired of it. He fucking hops off of his mushroom and waddles off. That's it.

A version of Alice that I hold in VERY high regard is the made for tv BBC's Alice Through the Looking-glass with Kate Beckinsale as Alice. I thought it was such a cool little take on it and its VERBATUM...practically. But it wasn't trapped by making it look exactly like Alice. It used tons of cool movie magic bells and whistles to keep it interesting. The Tweedles didn't look a single thing like Tenniel's Tweedles and Alice even looks like a Sweet Lolita.

Also, recently I watched SyFy's Alice. I loved it. And because I liked it I thought it was a fair reason to give Tim Burton's a try. There were parts I thought were lame but parts I really enjoyed. But pretty much it was a complete re-telling of the story, but it essentially is the same story. Girl falls down a Rabbit-hole, meets a cast of characters. Knocks over a house of cards. Burton's....I dunno yet LoL

Ok. Enough of the negative. The things I like so far are The White Rabbit: The details on him are FANTASTIC. You can see the veins in his ears and the pink around his eyes. He looks JUST like ...a drugged out rabbit put into a coat LoL, The Details on Mad Hatter: at first I hated how he looked but some of the details are really interesting. He's much better moving around and not a still promo shot. The finished product is much better. The little spools of thread going across his chest like a chain of bullets was really cool. The bits of fabric hanging from his belt also a nice touch. I like it because it brings back the fact that he is a HATTER. A lot of people forget this and/or choose not to mention it. Mad Hatter was a term coined for hatters who had been drugged from the mercury in the glue, Alice's dress: I like it.......I think its interesting and pretty.

Some of the things I like and hate at the same time. Queen of Heart's big head/normal body is a prime example. WHY is she the ONLY one like that? THE OOONLYYYY OOOOONEEEEEEE.
Is it because she's supposed to look like the playing card? That makes no sense.

I heard that he did this because he wanted something to bother you about each design. PRETENTIOUS.....

Like I said...I will be going to see the movie. Who knows? I might love the hell out of it. Then again...I may hate every second of it. We'll see. But I STILL hate the pre-movie press and reviews and all this fucking crap going with it.

My dad just got done asking me what I felt about the movie. YET AGAIN bombarded with a loaded question that I am REQUIRED to answer AT LENGTH. The fool had no idea what hit him.
But here's why it was a loaded question.
Apparently he read in one of my Entertainment Weekly magazines in a review of the movie that the original story of Alice in Wonderland was a DARK STORY.


Lemme say that again.


Apparently, Alice in Wonderland. Is a dark story.



Needless to say I nearly flipped. HOW do you think that its a fucking dark story!? HOW? I inquired this very question to him. He said "Well, you know. Stuff like the Queen saying 'OFF WITH HER HEAD'"
I nearly fell over. My father....who I had such respect for in the subject of history and literature....completely had no idea what he was talking about.
If Alice in Wonderland is a 'DARK STORY' then so is The Wizard of Oz or Peter Pan. Those stories were the first of their kind for being a children story FOR CHILDREN. That's what I love about them. They don't have a fucking moral behind them. They're not based off of some fucking war or greek myth. They aren't DARK stories. How can anyone think that?
Is this how JK Rowling felt when someone asked her if Lily was a Death Eater?? Possibly.

FLABERGASTED is a word. I'm so sick of editors or journalists or movie critics who have NO FUCKING IDEA what they're talking about. The time we're living in now....while jaded culturally is also a fucking NAIVE world at the same time. And the emphasis on UNDERSTANDING history is SUCH an under rated goal for educators. UNDERSTAND that Alice is not fucking Barney the Dinosaur. UNDERSTAND that before these revolutionary authors stories were NOT WRITTEN FOR CHILDREN! Children were demons who must be crushed before the weight of the world had a chance and they turned to godless sinners. Children are little adults and when they act like children they're misbehaving. When a story was told to a child they were to understand the MEANING behind it.

Those three stories, Alice, Peter Pan and Oz...did not have that. The authors of those stories had a better understanding of children and understood that they like to play and have fun and aren't concerned with morals and ethics behind a story. They can still read those in Grimm's Fairy Tales but in the end they don't fucking care. They live in their own world that they created and are forced to return to our world and are never happy about it. If I could live in a world where a Gryphon and a Turtle with a Cow Head would sing to me about Lobsters and Soup....I sure as hell would regret coming back to reality.
(PS:I'm not a huge fan of children because I have no patience. But I'm childish, therefore...understand them)


I think I've just about run out of steam here. So let me sum up.

I'm sick of people asking me about the upcoming movie.
Yes I will go see it.
NO I am NOT SUPER JAZZED because it has Johnny Depp(though I do love him[regardless of his supposed rapist friends or whatever])
I like parts of the design/hate the rest. Its a classic Tim Burton style and that's always how I feel about his art.
I HATE MOVIE REVIEW CRITICS. I ALWAYS DISAGREE WITH THEM AND THIS TIME I'M PERSONALLY OFFENDED.





Alice is the best story ever. Suck it if you think otherwise 8D
  • Mood: Outraged
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:icontsukino-hikari:
Tsukino-Hikari Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2010
if I see one freaking stripey sock, I can't give it a good rating.

yet I'm sadly expecting it.

please surprise us for once tim burton. stick to a good story.
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:iconkylie-kitsune:
Kylie-Kitsune Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2010
The media screws everything up. :/ They just want to cash in somehow on the popularity of the movie even if they can only print off some senseless dribble with the words "Alice" and "Wonderland" in it. I mean seriously, how can you have a PRE-movie review?

Watching the preview also dampened my mood a little after hearing the bit about the war. I remember I had read something that criticised the normal take on Alice and Wonderland that the Queen is some great villian. The Queen is just another bizarre character that pokes fun at something and her solution for everything just happens to be chopping off someone's head.

All in all though, I'm still excited to see the movie because, well... there are so few movies for me to get excited over nowadays. :(
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:iconfrank-d:
frank-d Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2010
Movies are often allowed in press-releases of certain movies. Its a way to promote the movie before its out for those who read magazines. But as it turns out...I had the wrong magazine. It was some local womens magazine and not Entertainment Weekly. As to why my father was reading a womens magazine........>_>;;
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:iconkylie-kitsune:
Kylie-Kitsune Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2010
So then it's a pre-movie release review? Okay, that makes more sense. But offered to a random women's magazine?

Anyway, I can kinda sorta understand the article's claim that Alice is dark material, not because it was written with that intent or because of any "off with their head" business. As a kid, I liked dark stuff, but the concept of Alice in Wonderland always unsettled me because Wonderland's logic was so completely different from the real world's. I always got creeped out thinking about Alice winding up in that crazy place and her survival being pretty much completely up to chance. That's just me though. I really like certain components of Alice in Wonderland, but as a whole it's not one of my favorite reads.
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:iconfrank-d:
frank-d Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2010
LOL It's obviously one of my favorite reasons...probably BECAUSE its so whacky and illogical. The first one moreso than the second. The second has a little more rhyme and reason because he set it up with a specific theme. Since the first book was written from a series of mini-stories he told the Liddell girls its less.....restricted? LoL And illogical is just how a mathmetician would write a story when he wanted it to be a fantasty.
I never really thought of Alice in any real danger ....though looking back it might have actually been around every corner >_>
I guess that's why books like The Looking-Glass Wars, and SyFy's Alice are the way they are...
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:iconl91:
L91 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2010
I agree. I see it as Lewis Carroll meets Narnia. A war?? come on now... But I'm still a little but excited about it?? Guess well have to see right?
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:iconfaithaverted:
FaithAverted Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2010
It's all good, portobello. :meow:
I'm a little upset to find out it's not going to be a direct retelling. Like. Wtf? D:/
But that might just be because of my horrible fandom for it.
The whole story of the "Wonderland" book takes place on my birthday, for corn's sake. :D
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:iconlova-notta-hatta:
lova-notta-hatta Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2010
a hole rant about alice in wonder land? n owonder i watched you! X3 i agree with everything you said....especially about the mad hatter.
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:iconfrank-d:
frank-d Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2010
Lol Apparently I've had a lot of pent up aggression because only the last part about the article was supposed to be in this rant. XD I guess I had a lot more to say than expected.
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:iconlova-notta-hatta:
lova-notta-hatta Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2010
lol xD i can tell took me a while to read et X3
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