Okay. So I dunno how many real Alice fans are out there so I might just be shouting at , but I am SO SICK of hearing about Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.
Don't get me wrong. I'm GOING to see it but I am neither "OMG SO FUCKING EXCITED" or "HOW DARE HE DO SUCH A THING! RAAAARRR", albeit the latter was closer to how I felt not too long ago.
I am to understand that it is NOT the retelling of Carroll's(or even Disney's) Alice in Wonderland, but ....essentially Return to Oz/Wonderland. That makes it an easy escape from the hardcore Alice fans, but also a total pussout. Pretty much its a chance to make a fanfic movie. Yet again, don't get me wrong. I love fanfic movies(Velvet Goldmine anyone? Anyone?) I think why I'm against the idea of his making a Tim Burton Alice is that...I think he would have made an excellent telling of the original. I know that he's well read enough, and a fan of classic fairytales to do the details that I LOVE. But...he's also so...fucking....Tim Burton about everything he does that there would definitely be parts that I hate that he did. I think he saw that coming and chose to use his own story for it.
So far, I can already tell that he's meshed the stories, which I'm used to but tired of. I swear, if that fucking Blue Caterpillar turns into a butterfly I'm walking out. That was NOT part of the original it was part of Disney's. And while I liked it in Disney's...seeing it in made for TVs and everything else....I'm tired of it. He fucking hops off of his mushroom and waddles off. That's it.
A version of Alice that I hold in VERY high regard is the made for tv BBC's Alice Through the Looking-glass with Kate Beckinsale as Alice. I thought it was such a cool little take on it and its VERBATUM...practically. But it wasn't trapped by making it look exactly like Alice. It used tons of cool movie magic bells and whistles to keep it interesting. The Tweedles didn't look a single thing like Tenniel's Tweedles and Alice even looks like a Sweet Lolita.
Also, recently I watched SyFy's Alice. I loved it. And because I liked it I thought it was a fair reason to give Tim Burton's a try. There were parts I thought were lame but parts I really enjoyed. But pretty much it was a complete re-telling of the story, but it essentially is the same story. Girl falls down a Rabbit-hole, meets a cast of characters. Knocks over a house of cards. Burton's....I dunno yet LoL
Ok. Enough of the negative. The things I like so far are The White Rabbit: The details on him are FANTASTIC. You can see the veins in his ears and the pink around his eyes. He looks JUST like ...a drugged out rabbit put into a coat LoL, The Details on Mad Hatter: at first I hated how he looked but some of the details are really interesting. He's much better moving around and not a still promo shot. The finished product is much better. The little spools of thread going across his chest like a chain of bullets was really cool. The bits of fabric hanging from his belt also a nice touch. I like it because it brings back the fact that he is a HATTER. A lot of people forget this and/or choose not to mention it. Mad Hatter was a term coined for hatters who had been drugged from the mercury in the glue, Alice's dress: I like it.......I think its interesting and pretty.
Some of the things I like and hate at the same time. Queen of Heart's big head/normal body is a prime example. WHY is she the ONLY one like that? THE OOONLYYYY OOOOONEEEEEEE.
Is it because she's supposed to look like the playing card? That makes no sense.
I heard that he did this because he wanted something to bother you about each design. PRETENTIOUS.....
Like I said...I will be going to see the movie. Who knows? I might love the hell out of it. Then again...I may hate every second of it. We'll see. But I STILL hate the pre-movie press and reviews and all this fucking crap going with it.
My dad just got done asking me what I felt about the movie. YET AGAIN bombarded with a loaded question that I am REQUIRED to answer AT LENGTH. The fool had no idea what hit him.
But here's why it was a loaded question.
Apparently he read in one of my Entertainment Weekly magazines in a review of the movie that the original story of Alice in Wonderland was a DARK STORY.
Lemme say that again.
Apparently, Alice in Wonderland. Is a dark story.
Needless to say I nearly flipped. HOW do you think that its a fucking dark story!? HOW? I inquired this very question to him. He said "Well, you know. Stuff like the Queen saying 'OFF WITH HER HEAD'"
I nearly fell over. My father....who I had such respect for in the subject of history and literature....completely had no idea what he was talking about.
If Alice in Wonderland is a 'DARK STORY' then so is The Wizard of Oz or Peter Pan. Those stories were the first of their kind for being a children story FOR CHILDREN. That's what I love about them. They don't have a fucking moral behind them. They're not based off of some fucking war or greek myth. They aren't DARK stories. How can anyone think that?
Is this how JK Rowling felt when someone asked her if Lily was a Death Eater?? Possibly.
FLABERGASTED is a word. I'm so sick of editors or journalists or movie critics who have NO FUCKING IDEA what they're talking about. The time we're living in now....while jaded culturally is also a fucking NAIVE world at the same time. And the emphasis on UNDERSTANDING history is SUCH an under rated goal for educators. UNDERSTAND that Alice is not fucking Barney the Dinosaur. UNDERSTAND that before these revolutionary authors stories were NOT WRITTEN FOR CHILDREN! Children were demons who must be crushed before the weight of the world had a chance and they turned to godless sinners. Children are little adults and when they act like children they're misbehaving. When a story was told to a child they were to understand the MEANING behind it.
Those three stories, Alice, Peter Pan and Oz...did not have that. The authors of those stories had a better understanding of children and understood that they like to play and have fun and aren't concerned with morals and ethics behind a story. They can still read those in Grimm's Fairy Tales but in the end they don't fucking care. They live in their own world that they created and are forced to return to our world and are never happy about it. If I could live in a world where a Gryphon and a Turtle with a Cow Head would sing to me about Lobsters and Soup....I sure as hell would regret coming back to reality.
(PS:I'm not a huge fan of children because I have no patience. But I'm childish, therefore...understand them)
I think I've just about run out of steam here. So let me sum up.
I'm sick of people asking me about the upcoming movie.
Yes I will go see it.
NO I am NOT SUPER JAZZED because it has Johnny Depp(though I do love him[regardless of his supposed rapist friends or whatever])
I like parts of the design/hate the rest. Its a classic Tim Burton style and that's always how I feel about his art.
I HATE MOVIE REVIEW CRITICS. I ALWAYS DISAGREE WITH THEM AND THIS TIME I'M PERSONALLY OFFENDED.
Alice is the best story ever. Suck it if you think otherwise 8D