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Ok. So I saw Tim Burton's Alice.


Just. Wow.
I wasn't disappointed since I started at 0 enthusiasm, so I guess that's good.

There were some VERY good parts, but for me they were REALLY over shadowed by the parts that were just COMPLETELY FUCKING INANE.
SO many questions that I had were left unanswered or left to very vague ideas.

Example A: Why is the Hatter half scottish half british?
Answer: Because he's Mad?
REALLY?! REEEALLY?! What the hell.
I loved that he spoke...possibly gaelic? I thought that his mood swings were perfect with a tiny bit of malice. But his flashback with the long curly red hair....yeesh >_>

Okay. Here's another question. Why the hell is the Red Queen merged with the Queen of Hearts?
And why is Wonderland suddenly Underland?
These two  and a bunch of questions like that can be equated to the FUCKING LAME ASS EXCUSE that  "Well. You see. Alice came here before but she plum forgot! So all the stuff that you hold to your heart or know about wonderland is just the forgetfullness of a silly little girl WHO WOULD OBVIOUSLY FORGET WHAT HAPPENED IF SHE WAS SCARED OF WHAT SHE SAW WHEN SHE WOKE UP!"

A carpet excuse to do whatever you wanted.

The other problem I had with the movie is that for what felt like the first TWO HOURS of the movie they have to RE-explain "Underland", because of the big stupid excuse that Alice forgot. So now everything has to be worked through and you have to explain why Alice came back, the calendar thingie, they have to explain the war that happened in wonderland, explain the relationship between the Red and White queen, the terror of the Jabberwocky and explain that the Vorpal blade is the only thing that can kill it.

Except they really sort of failed at all of that. They skimmed over all this information and it LITERALLY felt like watching a movie based on a book and all the info we needed is in the book.

Except the book has nothing to do with this crap.
Literally, about an hour into the movie I yelled out "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS MOVIE!?"

HOWEVER!! Aside from the horrible begining, the under-explained plot set-up, and the completely thrown together with scotch tape and spit....I enjoyed the rest of the movie.
So roughly the score plays out as 60%confused and angry and 40%enjoyed and pleased.

A lot of points were scored for the Red Queen. A LOT. But another thing with the RQ wasn't explained and was just left to be assumed that becuse of her giant head she PURPOSEFULLY surrounded herself with "freaks". That was SUCH a touching and sad thing about the Queen and it was never really touched into. But really was the first time in a LOOOONG time that I liked a character by HBC.
The White Queen was hilarious. Her movements and manner and ability to be poised and pick up disgusting things, perfection.
The Dormouse(who...was randomly female?) and her eye stabbing abilities. Awesome.
THE CHESHIRE CAT! LoL He was so cool. I might be totally biased because I love cats, but cat wise he was SO CUTE. And when he sits on Hatter's hat and paw-paws it. I died.
Like...Emile and I grabbed each other and had kitty-fangirl-squeal.
And his parting farewell to the hat. Perfection.
I LOVED the fight with Alice and the Jabberwocky...until that final line.
At taht point in the movie I was almost enthralled. She was BEAUTIFUL flying through the air and she said that lame ass fucking line at the end and killed all of my almost love.


Anyway, the NY housewives on bravo have completely distracted me at the moment so I'll end this now.
  • Mood: Contempt
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BabySuccubus Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Lol XD glad I'm not the only one who loved the Red Queen. Her and the Cheshire Cat were wonderfully done and ended up being my favorite characters. I wasn't that fond of the White Queen, but mostly cuz I don't like the overly "good" characters.

All in all I thought it was pretty ok except for the ending. I was expecting the movie to be directed at an older audience but the ending felt like it was written for 8 year olds. The fight with the Jabberwocky was pathetic (although Alice did look pretty hot in the armor :P) and the whole scene after she returned to the real world was so 'feel-good' I wanted to gag. There were multiple scenes when the Jabberwocky could have either eaten her or zapped her but didn't :/
Kylie-Kitsune Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2010
I just saw the movie last night and I also had mixed feelings about it, but I enjoyed it overall. My biggest problem with the movie was the plot. Being someone who watches a massive amount of anime, it was terribly cliche: Main character forgets about Wonderland (amnesia), escapes from uncomfortable circumstances in the real world to a magical world, turns out to be a chosen one in a prophecy, fills the requirement of repeatedly denying being the chosen one, there's a massive war against a pure evil but of course the pretty ones are the good guys, Alice is supposed to have a choice, but of course her choice just happens to fulfill the prophecy, and finally she's given the option to stay in Wonderland, but makes the obligatory choice of returning to the real world. Yeesh... >_>

On the upside, I loved the characters and their designs! The humor was also great, and I laughed a lot in this film. I actually really liked all the combination in this film, not simply of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, but also the Jabberwocky ballad. I liked how the Red Queen and the Queen of Hearts were combined, and also certain other characters (March Hare and the Duchess' cook? lol!) I was afraid that the Cheshire Cat was just going to be a 3D gimmick based on his appearance in the trailers, but he was actually amazing! I actually felt really sympathetic for the Red Queen as well, and I got a little ticked off that she lost so much at the end.

All in all, my conclusion is that Tim Burton has a wonderful imagination and sense of humor, but terrible story-writing skills. -_-'
frank-d Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2010
That pretty much is how I feel too. I did laugh a lot but I disliked the combinations of the characters...probably because I love each character individually and to have them merged bothers me. Its the one thing that bothers me from the Disney film about the Queen of Hearts is that half of her lines are from the Red Queen.

Also I think in my head I always associated the worlds as completely different worlds and the only ones who could traverse through both were Alice, Hatter and Hare....but that's just me being biased XD

But yeah the story was totally cliche but even with its cliche-ness there was a huge part in the middle where not a hell of a lot happened and it should have been filled with SOMETHING, cliche or otherwise. Her denials were very weak, as well was her conviction that it was a dream.

I've always been a big fan of his art style so I really liked how everything looked but yeah...

I found it kind of funny though that when the Jabberwocky awoke he looked exactly like Chernanbog
Kylie-Kitsune Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010
Woah! You're right! I didn't even think of that for some reason. It's just like Disney to reference themselves in one of their movies, but since it's a Chernanbog reference, I'll forgive them this time. :P

I also think that you're right about Wonderland and the looking glass being two different worlds. I think they tend to get combined because it's harder to make a condensed version of the complete story, for instance in a movie, in which Alice is introduced to one world, finishes her business there and goes home, and then repeats the process for the second. Instead, you have her end up there once and encounter all of the most well-known characters that people want to see from both worlds and bring her home once in the end. It's just easier and less redundant. I wonder if anyone's ever thought of making two completely different movies: One of Wonderland and one of Looking Glass? Someone definitely should! Because then they'd have enough time to give you your gryphon and mock turtle. :)

Yes, the Hatter flashback was totally meh and I was confused afterwards as to what conclusions we were supposed to draw from it besides "The Red Queen is pure evil", "The Hatter was traumatized" and "The Jabberwocky is a force to be reckoned with." In fact, I was disappointed that even though Depp was the Mad Hatter, he was not even close to my favorite character in the movie. There were too many things about him that annoyed me: One was the flashback, one was his random sometimes-Scottish accent, and one was his constant repetition of the raven/writing desk joke which I felt the script writers just threw in there because people expected to hear it somewhere.
YouGottaBeJoking Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2010
"Good-bye.... Sweet hat."
frank-d Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2010
YouGottaBeJoking Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2010
They should make a side story about Cheshire and the hat's affair.
The-Phinix Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010
cheshat is my otp
YouGottaBeJoking Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010
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Submitted on
March 7, 2010